The tale of Matterpillar and Mello cat
by BlOo KiSsEs
Summary: For some strange reason, Matt's a freaking catterpillar and Mello's a cat, and everyone else is an animal also. But its pretty normal. Still living their lives as usual. Y'know... Yeah. Rated T for possible stuff in later chapters. minor slash M
1. How They Met

**This is my first fic. I hope it doesn't suck. Just so you know, the 'animals' in the story are just people with ears and tails or something. I appreciate flames and constructive criticism. Rated for language and suggestive themes.**

**It's Matt/Mello btw.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**~Blu-kun :D**

Once, there was a caterpillar named Matt. He wasn't like other caterpillars though. He was lazy and he liked to spend all day sleeping or playing video games, how you can play video games outdoors, I don't know. He didn't stuff his face with leaves and grass and that kind of crap. No, he actually went into the town and used his own money, where ever he got it from, to buy a good meal once in a while. But he didn't eat much, for fear of being lazy AND fat. Seriously. The poor guy nearly starved himself.

One day, he was just chillin' while playing some mortal combat, when he hears a woman scream. Being the incredibly nice guy he is, he paused his game and went to go find whoever made such a feminine wail. After a few minutes of searching, he found a blonde tom cat (idk how a cat can be blonde…) stuck in a rusty bear trap. 'A bear trap? People still use those?' Matt thought to himself.

"You just gonna stand there like a dumbass, or are you gonna help me?" asked the obviously pained tom cat. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry." Matt replied. Using his oh-so-powerful caterpillar strength, he pulled the cat out of the trap. "Are you, uh, okay?" "Do I look okay to you?" the cat replied bitterly. Now that just hurt Matt's Feelings. "S-sorry." He replied, as he started to walk away. "No, wait!" said the cat."I'm sorry, that was the pain talking. I'm really thankful that you saved my life and all." Matt smiled. "I'm Matt" Matt stuck out his hand. The cat smiled."I'm Mello. Nice to meet you." He replied as he shook Matt's hand. And that's how it all started.

A Few Days Later

"Maaaaaaaatt!" Matt turned to see Mello running towards him. "Hey Mello. What's wrong?" "DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE AE PANDAS IN THIS FOREST? OH. EHM. GEE! I LOVE PANDAS!1!one!1!" Mello yelled happily. Right into poor Matt's ear. "I see you met L. He is really nice. I was about to go visit him." Mello's eyes lit up. "Matty! Can I come? Pleeeeaaase?" Mello begged. "Matty?" Matt replied. "It's a cute nickname." Matt blushed. "Okay. You can co-" matt didn't finish his sentence; since Mello was dragging him to the last place he'd seen the panda. "LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LETSGOGOGO!" "You really like pandas, huh?" asked Matt. "duh." was Mello's reply. So they ran for a few more seconds until they saw a panda working on his laptop (don't ask). "Hey L." greeted Matt. "Hello Matt. Who's your friend?"

**Sorry if it was too short.**

**Reviews make me wanna continue! :D**

**~bloo-kun**


	2. No Chocolate For Cats?

**Sorry about the long wait. My computer actually wanted to work for me. And thanks if you are still reading! L and Near will be appearing in this chapter also.**

**Disclaimer; I am a thirteen year old girl. Would I REALLY own death note?**

"Hello Matt. Who's your friend?"

"This is my friend Mello." He introduced Mello, since he was too busy spazzing to introduce himself. "Hello L. My name is Mello. OMIGAWSH you're a panda PANDASAREAWESOME." Mello said in one breath. L just stared. "It is very nice to meet you Mello." L said and smiled. Mello grinned back. "Jeez Mells. You're acting like a thirteen year old at a Justin Beiber concert. (AN; I DON'T ACT LIKE THAT.) Why do you like pandas so much?" Matt asked.

"Just because." Mello replied as he took a bite out of a random Hershey bar. Just then, Matt jumped Mello and snatched the chocolate out of his hand. "MATT! WHAT THE FU-" "Mello, chocolate is poisonous to cats! You have a death wish or something?" Matt said, panicking. Mello blinked. "I thought that was only for dogs." Mello replied. "No, it affects dogs and cats equally." L said, not looking away from his laptop. "Matty, I have been eating chocolate since I was a small. I haven't died yet, it won't kill me now. Now, will you please get off? Not that you're heavy, but this position is…" Matt blushed and quickly got off. "S-sorry Mello." Matt stuttered and gave Mello his chocolate back. "Wow matt. You sit around all day doing practically nothing, but you're so thin. And you're taller than me! How do you do it?" Mello asked. Matt blushed. "I don't really do anything. I don't eat much, so…"

But Matt stopped talking as he felt someone starring at him. He turned around to find a cute, small sheep staring at him. "Hello matt." The sheep said. "Hey Near. How have you been?" Matt asked, starting a conversation. Mello just stared. "Oh! Near, this is Mello. Mello, This is Near. He lives on the farm near the forest." Matt introduced. "Hello Mello. It's nice to meet you." Near said politely. "Likewise." Replied Mello. "it's getting dark. Near, you need to head back to the farm. I need to get back to the zoo before they notice I'm gone." L said. "you stay at the zoo?" asked Mello. "Yes, but I'll be moving out here soon. They say I need to 'be free' or whatever. I'll see you two tomorrow." L said as he left. "I'll try to come tomorrow too. Bye matt. Bye Mello." Near said as he followed L. "Bye" Said Mello and Matt. "Are you leaving too?" asked Matt. "Matt, I told you. I'm a stray. I have no home to go to. I'm spending the night with you whether you want me or not." Mello said as he smirked. Matt smiled. "Good, 'cuz I get bored at night." Matt replied.

**Sorry again if it was short. Please make some suggestions about what animals the other characters should be. I'm having trouble there…**

**~Bloo**


	3. Weight Watchers?

**Hello to anyone actually reading! Sorry this one is short. AGAIN. I still need help with what animal the others should be….**

**Disclaimer; if I owned, Light would either be dead, or not EVIL. And Matt and Mello would get more screen time….. Oh. And more yaoi.**

**~Bloo**

Mello and Matt were just chilling and playing Viva Piñata. But since Mello pretty much lost every time, he got bored. "Hey Matt, let's go swimming. It's July and I'm HOT."

"Mello, most caterpillars can't swim and last time I checked, most cats hate water. Also, I'm too lazy to get off my ass." Matt said as he beat Mello once again in another race. Mello just scowled and got up. "Well I wanna swim. Come join me after you're ready to get off you're lazy ass." And he started to leave. 'Five, four, three, two...' Mello counted in his head. "OKAY! I'll come." Matt caved.

They went to the nearest lake. Mello started to strip. Matt just stared. 'So he wears boxers… thought he went commando with all the leather he wears…' Matt thought.

"You coming or not, Matt?"

"… I'm sorry did you say something?" Matt said, embarrassed. 'Did he notice me staring?' Matt panicked. A smirk sneaked onto Mello's face."Like what you see, Matt? Staring at my butt?" "N-no! I was, uh, staring at your tail! It's very…. Fluffy…." Matt obviously lied. If there is one thing Mello is 100% sure of, it's that Matt is a HORRIBLE LIAR. "Yeah yeah. Whatever. Aren't you swimming, Matt?"

"Fine." Matt hesitantly took off his shirt and ran into the lake with his pants on. "There. Happy now?"

"Very." Mello replied smugly and dove underwater. "Mello? Did you drown?" no response. "Dude, If you did drown, I'm not saving your sorry a-AAAH!" Matt was suddenly tugged down into the water to be face to face with a smiling Mello. Soon, they both surfaced for air. "Matt, why are you so bony?" Mello asked with a slight worried expression. "Uhhh… I work out?" Matt tried. "That's a lie." Mello said emotionlessly.

"New diet?"

"Lies."

"High metabolism?"

"More lies."

"Weight Watchers?"

"Still lies."

"Dang."

"Why won't you tell me Matty?" Mello was hurt that his friend wouldn't tell him the truth. "I don't like to eat much. This creepy guy, Mikami, I think his name was, told me that caterpillars easily get obese and die if they eat too much. I don't wanna die, Mells!" Just then, Mello burst out laughing. "The thought of me dying is funny to you?" Matt asked, on the verge of tears. "N-no, it's just that… ha-ha! Haven't you ever read the 'Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar' as a kid?" Mello asked between chuckles. "No. should I have? Is it important?" Matt asked, panicking. "Naw. It's a children's book about a caterpillar who turns into a butterfly." "WHAAAT? Caterpillars can do that?" Matt asked, astonished. Mello laughed. "all caterpillars do. IF they eat right. This means you're eating with me tonight! I'll put some meat on your bones." Mello said. "Okay." Matt wasn't so sure of this…

**It's longer than the other chapters at least! Heh…. Please give me some ideas about what animals the other characters should be!**

**~Bloo**


	4. Chocolate Filled Twinkies

**Sorry for not updating in FOREVER. I lost my connection to the internet and all.**

**Disclaimer; we already talked about this.**

_Matt POV_

Mello said he was going to 'put some meat on my bones', or whatever. But I didn't understand why he was taking me to the zoo. "hey Mello, why are we at the zoo?" but he only replied with a "You'll see, matt." Next thing I know, we're at the panda exhibit.

"We're visiting L?" but Mello didn't even listen, he just told me to follow hi m inside. "Hello Mello." L said. I couldn't see him anywhere. Too many leaves and bamboo in here. "Hey L! We came over to eat!" I heard Mello say, quite rudely. How would L feel about us coming to raid his home for food? "Okay then. Please follow me." Apparently, he's fine with it.

Me and Mello- excuse my grammar- **Mello and I **follow L to a back door. L opens the door to reveal a HUGE dining room with a lot of expensive decorations. The dining table is huge also. I could also see two other rooms connected to this one, one was a bedroom with a luxurious king sized bed that looks barely used, and the other room seemed to be a living room with a big leather couch with a big flat screen TV across from it on the wall. "DAMN. Why am I never invited here?" L smiled. "You never asked." L said coyly. That comment earned him a raspberry. That raspberry earned me a smack to the back of the head from Mello. "be nice. He's ngiving us food!" "don't we have food at home?" we only have vegetarian food there." Mello stated mater-of-factly. "What's wrong with that?" I asked. I already knew what he would reply. "It won't put meat on your bones and it's nasty." Mello replied.

"I have anything you want to eat." L said as he made his way to a random laptop. "You have those chocolate filled Twinkies?!" Mello asked-no. Screamed. "They're on the kitchen counter." L replied, not looking away from the laptop screen. Mello ran to the room I assume was the kitchen and came back with a tray full of sweets. "Time to eat, Matty!" he said with a slightly psychotic look in his eyes. I'm not gonna lie, I was SCARED. " it looks like you're trying to give me diabetes with all that sugar." I replied wearily as I slowly made my way to the door we entered though. "Oh no you don't!~" Mello yelled as he grabbed the collar of my shirt as he dragged me to the table. "Nooooo!" I yelled dramatically.

This is the end of Matt. I just know it.

**Sorry again about being late and this chapter being short. I fail.**

**~Bloo**


	5. Attention Span Of A Chicken

**D: I AM SOOO SORRY! I HAD SCHOOL AND-AND-okay; I know you don't give a poo about my excuses. I got lazy. Here you go you lovely, patient peepulls.**

**_~Bloo_**

Matt POV

When Mello said he'd get me fat, he wasn't joking. I gained so much weight! I wouldn't say I was fat, but I'm not a twig anymore. Now I can fit my clothes right.

I feel fat now.

I need to buy a treadmill. Am I anorexic for thinking these thoughts? I wouldn't make myself PUKE, or anything, but…

Ooh. 'Gangnam Style' is on the news, LOL. So many dancing people. What was I talking about again? I need new striped shirts. Maybe a purple striped one this time.

"Matt. Did you go buy more milk?" who asked me that? Oh. Tis Mello the ever punctual. Why punctual, I don't know. He just … is? "MATT! I'm talking to you!" I think be busted my eardrum. If I was deaf in one ear, I swear I'll- "Matt, what's the matter with you? I've been talking this whole time, yet you ignore me and stare off into space."

"Sorry Mello. I have the attention span of a chicken. I have a lotta' thoughts in my head, is all." I do. I think a lot.

"What kind of things do you think about, Matt?"

"I could never tell you. My mind is a giant enigma of a rubix cube that not even Einstein nor Steven Hawking, maybe not even **_L_** could solve. Wow. I went real soul-searchy, there."

He stares at me. I stare back. "Matt, you are really something else." "Why, thank you! Oh, and you're paying for my hearing aid."

**Its short, its crappy, and I'm ashamed. I deserve the flames and harsh criticism. DX**

**_~Bloo_**


	6. Heeeere's Light!

**_YAAAAY. I'm updating. /shot/_**

Mello was just chillin' and having some tea with L and Near.

"L, aren't tea parties for little girls?" Mello asked as he took a bite of a chocolate chip cookie.

"it would be if there were teddy bears." L added more sugar to his already sweetened tea.

"Well, you are a panda, so—"

"Pandas are a part of the raccoon family, they aren't bears." L stated.

"This tea party still seems too… girly."

Near just sat there stacking sugar cubes.

Matt decided that he didn't want to join the tea party, saying that he had chores to do. Of course he just went back home and started playing Call of Duty. He stopped after a while, deciding to clean up the mess he calls a home. So he picked up a few socks, kicked some trash into a corner.

"Seems clean enough to me." Matt mumbled to himself. "I'd better go buy more groceries. Cause that's obviously what normal caterpillars do." He said, thinking about how this damn story makes no sense and the author should go fuck herself.

So he grabbed his wallet and went to his car, since every caterpillar owns one. On his way to the store, he saw some people (or animals, 'cause you certainly can't tell with this bullshit story) trying to steal a woman's purse.. It looked like it was getting serious, so he stopped his car and got out to help. He stopped when he saw one of the men fall, dead. Another looked as if he was having a heart attack. He turned to a guy around his age, maybe older, was holding a black notebook, just starring.

"Yo, man. Do you know what's happening?" the guy seemed to snap out of his trance, and turned to look at Matt, completely calm.

"No, but I think we should check on that woman to see if she's alright." Matt nodded and headed towards the woman and helped her to her car. He turned back to the guy he just met- wow. He's hot.

"I'm Light." He said, extending his hand to Matt.

"I'm Matt." They shook hands as matt looked over (cough mentally undressed cough) Light.

"So, you're a peacock?" he said as he spotted colorful feathers.

"Yeah. You're a caterpillar?"

"Yeeeeaah."

Awkward silence.

"Ok. It was nice meeting you, but I hafta' go." Matt said as he turned away, but Light stopped him. "Hey! I'm kinda new in this town, could you, uh, show me around? If it isn't too much to ask…"

"Yeah sure." achievement unlocked! Befriend a stranger! So mat showed light around, and you can imagine al the cool placed they went and blah blah blah.

Matt felt a vibration in his pocket and took out his phone. Mello was calling him. Why does a caterpillar have a phone?! "Hello?"

"Matt, where the fuck are you?"

"I'm…" he looked around "I'm at some Starbucks. I'm hanging out with a friend."

"Oh ok. Buy some milk and chocolate while you're out."

"Yessir mister grumpy cat."

"I'll kill you in your sleep."

"Love you too! Bye Bye!" and with that, he hung up. He turned to see light smirking at him.

"Is that your girlfriend?"

"I wish I had a girlfriend. That's just my roommate/BFF/PMSing wife named Mello."

"He sounds charming. When can I meet him?"

"Right now if you want. Let's go."

So they were off to see the wizar- fuck no. Mello, I mean.

**_I don't like this that much. I suck. Plus I'm grumpy because of homestuck related reasons. So please excuse this sorry excuse for a chapter._**

**_~BlOo~_**


	7. Not A Whore

**_Heeeey. I put Light in the last chapter…._**

**_I FORGOT TO DO DISCLAIMERS FOR THE STORY._**

**_I don't own Death Note, if you couldn't already tell._**

**_~Bloo~_**

Matt took Light back to his crib- lol, no. his _home. _He and light walked into Matt's little whatever-it-was. Let's just call it an apartment. "Honey, I'm hoooome~" Matt called out, telling Mello that he had arrived. He had to avoid a leather boot that was thrown at his head. "That was_ rude_. We have company."

When Matt said that, the cat stood up and got his shit together, making himself look presentable. He walked over to Light, sticking out his hand (_or paw. Are they even animals anymore?_).

"Hello, I'm Mello. It is very nice to meet you."

Light shook the outstretched hand (_or paw_), smiling a dazzling smile. "Light. Nice to meet you too"

"Please make yourself comfortable, I need to talk to Matt real quick" Mello said, gesturing towards the couch and the flat screen TV in front of it. Mello pulled Matt into the kitchen-like-area and looked him dead in the eye.

"Why the hell did you bring a peacock into our home? Is he a _whore_ 'er something?" Mello whispered harshly as he saw Light turn the channel to Judge Judy.

"What? NO! He is not a _whore_. I just met a friend, that's all." Matt said, offended that Mello would think that he'd bring a whore home.

"Oh. Okay. I only asked cause he was hot." Mello said, nonchalantly as he walked away.

"Wait, what? Come back here and explain that please!" Matt yelled as Mello took a seat next to Light.

"Explain what?" Light asked, looking away from the TV.

"It's nothing." Matt's face flushed.

Light turned to Mello for an explanation. "I asked if you were a prostitute because you're hot." Mello said, not even looking away from Judge Judy.

Matt choked on air and glared at Mello. He was about to start bitching until he heard a slight chuckle. He turned towards Light, confused.

Light's giggles subsided as he spoke. "You two are hilarious. No, I'm not a prostitute. But thanks for the compliment."

Mello turned to Matt, a joking smile on his face. "Why'd you even meet this guy?" Mello gasped overdramatically. "You're not cheating on me, are you? Oh my god, you're cheating on me!" Mello pretended to cry as matt shrugged.

"What can a say, blondes aren't my type." Mello laughed and playfully punched Matt in the arm.

"Ooooow. Help me Light. I'm in an abusive relationship." Matt pouted.

Mello crossed his arms, face suddenly becoming serious. "Damn straight."

Light was laughing his ass off on the couch.

The three turned towards the door as they heard a knock.

"Who is it?" Mello yelled, too lazy to get up.

"It's the pizza man," Said a monotone voice that could only belong to Near. "L's here too."

Mello turned towards Matt expectantly. "What're you waiting for? Let them in."

Matt mumbled a few indecent words as he made his way towards the door to let them in. "Hey guys. We have company over, so don't go crazy."

"Yeah, I still have a hangover from the last tea party we had… which was a few hours ago." Mello yelled from the couch.

"It's not our fault that you have a low tolerance for tea." L replied, going straight for the kitchen. Near walked towards Light and introduced himself, holding his optimus prime toy close.

L opened their refrigerator and frowned, only seeing that there was chocolate. He loved chocolate, but he knew that Mello would pounce on him if he even touched any. When he walked back into the living room, he saw the odd sight of the four of them playing a hand game, 'concentration' if L remembered correctly.

L walked up to Mello and tapped him on the shoulder. "May I eat some of your chocolate?"

"Yeah, whatever." Mello replied; too busy trying to win the game.

L smiled and walked into the kitchen, intent on devouring all the chocolate in the house.

**_….._**

**_Sup?_**

**_~Bloo~_**


	8. i am very sorry

**Sorry, this isn't a new chapter. :(**

**(I give all of you permission to virtually bitch slap me.)**

**I have noooooooo fucking Idea where this story is going. It has _no plot_.**

**So, I am taking any suggestions (if anyone is still reading this crap.)**

**PM me or review, I'll take almost anything.**

**I'm desperate.**

**I'm running out of time also.**

**I won't have any internet connection over the summer, so…..**

**Yeah, sorry.**

***gives Hershey kisses and hugs***

**_~Bloo~_**


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